It’s been a little while. Not sure why I have been so MIA lately, at least in the blogsphere. I deleted my tumblr at least, which has given me some more free time. What’s been going on in my head lately….
Life has felt weird. Maybe it’s because I’m in a new place. Maybe it’s because I’m married. Maybe it’s because it’s Thanksgiving and almost 70 degrees here (not that I’m complaining about this weather). As of late, I’ve been terribly uninspired- I’ve been away from my books, from my camera, from a musical instrument- for way too long. I finally plopped myself into a chair and read some CS Lewis the other day, which helped a little. Life has just felt sad. It hasn’t felt exciting. I’m an adult now. I’m grown up. The world feels.. small? Sad? Everyone around me is getting older and getting sicker and getting another day closer to dying. This is rather morbid and sad, but I’d be lying to say that I haven’t been feeling this way. My life is so Blessed – Alex and I discuss this often – but at the same time, it’s so easy to feel so depressed over life. Our need for Christ becomes more apparent every day – especially as I realize how things here are rather meaningless. Life is meaningless if we’re on this earth to work and toil and love and then evaporate. Life feels meaningless if we’re out to only accomplish our own selfish goals. I used to tell people that God’s purpose for us was to work to make little Christs.. but I don’t think that I really understood what that meant until now. We need to show people so much love- to show them that we’re set apart from others. We need to show others that we’re flawed and broken just like them, but that there’s a hope that gets us through each day. It’s a hope that’s also a promise- A promise that – because we are Christians and confess our need for Christ – we are saved. We are redeemed. We are no longer on this earth just to exist and float and wake and sleep and die. We have a purpose given to us from Christ (even when we don’t feel that we have an earthly purpose). It’s comforting and awakening. It wakes me from my apathy and slumber and makes me realize that I am on this earth for a reason. And sometimes we really need that reminder.
