give me All

Christ says, “Give me ALL. I don’t want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work: I want YOU. I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. No half-measures are any good. I don’t want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down. I don’t want to drill the tooth, or crown it, or stop it, but to have it out. Hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent as well as the ones you think wicked- the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you Myself: my own will shall become yours.”

-Lewis

“For we speak as messengers from God, trusted by him to tell the truth; we change his message not one bit to suit the taste of those who hear it; for we serve God alone, who examines our hearts’ deepest thoughts. Never once did we try to win you over with flattery, as you very well know, and God dknows we were not just pretending to be your friends…And we wil lnever stop thanking God for this: that when we preached to you, you didn’t think of the words we spoke as being just our own, but you accepted what we said as the very Word of God- which, of course, it was- and it changed your lives when you believed it.”
1 Thessalonians 2:4-13

Surrender

“The greatest hinderance to God’s blessing in your life is not others, it is yourself- your self-will, stubborn pride, and personal ambition. You cannot fulfill God’s purposes for your life while focusing on your own plans.”
-The Purpose Driven Life

“Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.” Psalm 37:7

It’s important to note that surrender is best demonstrated through obedience. One often confuses the word obedience as something taught to dogs to help them obey their masters. Often, we fail to realize that We are the ones that need to learn to obey. We’re taught obedience throughout our lives, although mostly as children- being obedient to our parents and elders. However, in the same way, we must be obedient to God and all He holds us to. Being obedient to God also entails listening to commands He tells us, as well as being obedient to wait upon him.

A dog does not instantly understand the command “Stay.” I can recall many failed attempts at teaching Autumn commands as a puppy. The command “stay” may be the most important command- It teaches the dog to not run toward the owner or towards another stimulus, and instead, remain motionless in its current location. I can imagine how frightening it must be for a dog to hear its master say “STAY” and then proceed to walk away! However, how long does the owner stay away for? I have never seen an owner command “STAY” to his or her dog, and then never return. The command is temporary, and the dog is often rewarded with a treat.

In the same way, we are the dog and God is the master. How many times does God command us to WAIT or STAY or SURRENDER to Him? We often fear this step of obedience- whether it remains waiting out a situation, or staying in a place of possibly confusion or unclarity. BUT GOD AND HIS CLARITY ARE NEVER FAR AWAY. If we are obedient to His commands, He will proceed in blessing us for our obedience to Him! Just as no good master leaves his dog waiting, our God is the best master that doesn’t leave his children alone.

I’m growing tired of being told that religion [Christianity, especially] is a crutch that the uneducated or undereducated use, that “intelligent” people don’t need it. My heart breaks tenfold when I see people reject parts of Christianity, believing that their own views and ideals are superior to the words of God. And these are the people that are hardest to break, their habits and views are so engrained in their being [and many are legitimate], but if what they are saying is contradictory to what God’s word says, it’s contradictory to what God says and wants from us!

Lately, God has been teaching me patience. It’s one thing to say “Oh, yeah, I trust God.” It can easily be another story, however, when one is faced with trials and frustration, and must exert patience and complete trust in Christ. I’m at a place right now where I can easily do things on my own strength, and, while having good intentions, can ruin the plan God has. I have come to a place where I have to say “God, I trust you, and my thoughts and actions rest in you. And I will do what you want even if that means that I will be temporarily dissatisfied. Because your plan is perfect. And mine is not.” It’s a total bust to the ego. But egos are linked with pride, which are linked with us thinking we’re greater than God. I’m reminded of James 1 in these situations:

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
James 1:2-6

In asking for wisdom and clarity in situations, we must realize that God is going to answer us! So often, I hear others [and myself] explain that they are waiting upon God for an answer, that they are unsure, etc. etc. I think we fail to realize, however, that if we are waiting for an answer, God HAS, in a sense, answered us. God often answers questions and problems with 3 answers: Yes, no, or Wait. By God telling us to “wait” he is testing and expanding our patience, and our reliance on Him. How incredibly unfruitful we would be if God would give us all of our selfish desires! We would have instant gratification, and be totally ungrateful in all we would do. Perseverance comes in many forms, and right now, mine has to do with having Patience, Trust, and Fortitude in all I do. Trust that God has the perfect plan, Patience in my future plans, relationships, etc, and Fortitude in keeping up with my studies and my parents. AND, perserverance through all of this in my prayer life. In praying for my friends that God has put on my heart to pray for. I have been doing so, with God’s help, for about a month now. God has put these people in my life for a reason, and in praying for them, I know He will do a great work. If not soon, certainly in the future, when they go on to whatever has been planned for them next.

There are spiritual battles going on every moment, on this Earth right now. One just happened in front of me. I’m sitting here at Starbucks [I should probably be moving more forward with orgo..], but there were these men sitting next to me, well-dressed men in business suits, having a bible study! I thought it was pretty cool, but then one of them saw my InterVarsity sweatshirt and started inquiring about my school and faith. He then proceeded to show me something about how God is father and mother, and we must believe in this mother god to have eternal life, and that my pastor wouldn’t know about it, and how they’re going around trying to tell people about it, and how I should study with them and this group. He wouldn’t even tell me the exact church he went to. And honestly, it scared the freaking crap out of me. They had sketch ‘cult’ written all over them. The spiritual realm holds things we can never fully know or understand, and the devil has plenty of ways to confuse and detract Christians and non-Christians from God and truly knowing him. We need to put on the spiritual armor of God wherever we go. In Jesus’ name, I pray that if those people are teaching things that are not in God’s word and against the Truth that they would be stopped! It’s easy to be afraid, but then I realize how with the name of Jesus, I really have nothing to fear.

Keep me safe, O God,
for in you I take refuge.
I said to the LORD, “You are my Lord;
apart from you I have no good thing.”

As for the saints who are in the land,
they are the glorious ones in whom is all my delight. [b]

The sorrows of those will increase
who run after other gods.
I will not pour out their libations of blood
or take up their names on my lips.

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.

The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.

I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.

I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.

Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.

You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.

Psalm 16

Iron & Wine

I became interested in Iron and Wine from Brenna, a girl I worked with two summers ago. She gave me their album “Our Endless Numbered Days” which I loved. Honestly though, I’ve become much more fond of Sam Beam’s other works. This song is incredibly beautiful, and I can’t stop listening to it [as is the case for many of his songs.] His voice and guitar are enough to take your breath away
I included the link to listen to it for yourself!

Run like a race for family
When you hear like you’re alone
The rusty gears of morning
And faceless, busy phones
We gladly run in circles
But the shape we meant to make is gone

And love is a tired symphony
You hum when you’re awake
And love is a crying baby
Mama warned you not to shake
And love’s the best sensation
Hiding in the lion’s mane

So I’ll clear the road, the gravel
And the thornbush in your path
That burns a scented oil
That I’ll drip into your bath
The water’s there to warm you
And the earth is warmer when you laugh

And love is the scene I render
When you catch me wide awake
And love is the dream you enter
Though I shake and shake and shake you
And love is the best endeavor
Waiting in the lion’s mane

Iron and Wine- Lion’s Mane

Little Women

The semester has just begun, and already I am terribly tired. Perhaps it’s from my lack of sleep. I’ve been having a difficult time juggling school, work, church, and studying. Things are bound to improve, though.
Lately, I have been a CS Lewis fiend. I am so close to finishing Mere Christianity, I can almost taste it. I’m quite positive that once I finish, I am bound to go back for a re-read. If only reading for organic chem and physiology were such a joy.

“We are not begotten by God, we are only made by Him: in our natural state we are not sons of God, only (so to speak) statues. We have not got [spiritual life]: only [biological life] which is presently going to run down and die. Now the whole offer which Christianity makes is this: that we can, if we let God have His way, come to share in the life of Christ. If we do, we shall then be sharing a life which was begotten, not made, which has always existed and always will exist. Christ is the Son of God. If we share in this kind of life we also shall be sons of God. We shall love the Father as He does and the Holy Ghost will arise in us. He came to this world and became a man in order to spread to other men the kind of like He has– by what I call ‘good infection’. Every Christian is to become a little Christ. The whole purpose of becoming a Christian is simply nothing else.”
Lewis

I really would love to embellish this more, I read this chapter the other day and had almost broken out in tears. I don’t really know what came over me. Perhaps it is because my heart breaks for others. God has kept the same friends of mine at the tip of my tongue, and I continue to keep the four of them in prayer pretty fervently. I know how powerful prayer is [the Bible tells me so, and I have seen the miracles that result] and the last thing I want to do is wane in my efforts. Then again, nothing is my own doing. God can do all things with much less than a twitch. God can save with no efforts on my part. But I do this out of my love for others. God calls us to pray for others, to love others as ourselves, to love others as an earthly representation of how much God loves us. While I am incapable of loving like God loves, every day I strive to be a better servant and more in tune with what God wants.
I need to learn to rest in Him, and not need to rely on others or other things. However, I can’t help but to sometimes be impatient. Perhaps it is a character flaw. Sometimes though, I wonder if some of the emotions I feel are a result of other people’s desires and actions, or if I have truly come to feel them on my own. But now, I simply am just babbling.

In other news, I’m watching Little Women. Jo March used to strike me quite the irritating character, but somehow now, I can’t help but be a bit intrigued by her passion. While I relate more with Meg [who is simple, modest, and for the most part, sensible], I think we all have a bit of Jo in us- at times rash, indecisive, silly, or overly opinionated. I bought the actual novel at B&N a few weeks ago. If I ever get around to finishing Sense & Sensibility this semester, Little Women will surely be next on the fiction list.
But for once, I think I will be going to sleep before midnight.

“Oh, Jo. Jo, you have so many extraordinary gifts; how can you expect to lead an ordinary life? You’re ready to go out and – and find a good use for your talent. Tho’ I don’t know what I shall do without my Jo. Go, and embrace your liberty. And see what wonderful things come of it.”