Coffee dayze

I will always love Jubala. Yesterday I had the pleasure of meeting Ashley & Becca there. Their atmosphere, music, and espresso are hard to beat. After drinking a cappuccino, I realized it was RT Tuesday and also drank a complimentary cortado. Can’t beat that.

Happy Birthday to Ashley!

Andd back to work I go this evening.

Resolution

Okay. So we aren’t ringing in the new year just yet, but I’ve been realizing how easy it can be to get sidetracked. To go off-track. And so, it has become more and more evident that I need to create lists of tangible goals (having them in my head isn’t good enough. I need to Write Them Down!) One of these goals is to write every day. And take photos each day. There are no good reasons why I shouldn’t be taking a few minutes out of my day to do this; whether I’m working a full-time job, part-time job, whatever. It will also be a really nice way to look back upon Alex and my first year of marriage (I still can’t believe that we’ll be married 5 months on December 9th!) And so, I will be posting some of my goals and resolutions in the very near future, but for now I think it is time for a little life update.

Thursday marked our first Thanksgiving away from New York and our family. I didn’t take it lightly at first, but Alex and I are adults now and in a new place. And some new traditions. We still kept some old traditions (ie. watching the Thanksgiving Day Parade), but we also had some of his friends over for dinner. It was such a blast to cook! We roasted a turkey, made pumpkin soup with bacon, green beans in tomato sauce, roasted sweet potatoes, and homemade cranberry sauce. By the time I was able to snag some photos we had already demolished most of the food, but here’s Alex carving up the turkey:

It was a great time, filled with friends and food. We baked apples and topped them with homemade whipped cream for dessert, and Katie brought a super delicious pie from Scratch bakery. The night ended with Alex and I watching the last Harry Potter. It was so wonderful to have a relaxing night like this, without either of us working.

Fast forward to today. Today was pretty awesome because I bought our first Christmas tree. It’s a tiny little guy, but perfect for our apartment. I loved surprising Alex with it!

I need to write a more proper post on thankfulness and how truly blessed Thanksgiving made me feel this year, but I thank God every day for giving me such a wonderful family and loving husband. We have a safe apartment, a fridge full of food, jobs, our health, our faith, and the ability to do things that some other people never could.

About to pass out, but here begins my first post of many.

Crossing out apathy

It’s been a little while. Not sure why I have been so MIA lately, at least in the blogsphere. I deleted my tumblr at least, which has given me some more free time. What’s been going on in my head lately….

Life has felt weird. Maybe it’s because I’m in a new place. Maybe it’s because I’m married. Maybe it’s because it’s Thanksgiving and almost 70 degrees here (not that I’m complaining about this weather). As of late, I’ve been terribly uninspired- I’ve been away from my books, from my camera, from a musical instrument- for way too long. I finally plopped myself into a chair and read some CS Lewis the other day, which helped a little. Life has just felt sad. It hasn’t felt exciting. I’m an adult now. I’m grown up. The world feels.. small? Sad? Everyone around me is getting older and getting sicker and getting another day closer to dying. This is rather morbid and sad, but I’d be lying to say that I haven’t been feeling this way. My life is so Blessed – Alex and I discuss this often – but at the same time, it’s so easy to feel so depressed over life. Our need for Christ becomes more apparent every day – especially as I realize how things here are rather meaningless. Life is meaningless if we’re on this earth to work and toil and love and then evaporate. Life feels meaningless if we’re out to only accomplish our own selfish goals. I used to tell people that God’s purpose for us was to work to make little Christs.. but I don’t think that I really understood what that meant until now. We need to show people so much love- to show them that we’re set apart from others. We need to show others that we’re flawed and broken just like them, but that there’s a hope that gets us through each day. It’s a hope that’s also a promise- A promise that – because we are Christians and confess our need for Christ – we are saved. We are redeemed. We are no longer on this earth just to exist and float and wake and sleep and die. We have a purpose given to us from Christ (even when we don’t feel that we have an earthly purpose). It’s comforting and awakening. It wakes me from my apathy and slumber and makes me realize that I am on this earth for a reason. And sometimes we really need that reminder.

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the big things: future career, future house, future life. I get wrapped up and tied in a bow. So tight that I can’t even seem to get out and enjoy all of the beauty, adventure, and opportunity that is around me every day. As I transition from two jobs to one… let these things be so. Life is too short.

Food

Being a newly married woman with a part time job has been excellent for my cooking skills. Alex and I like eating. A lot. And we really like photographing food before we eat it. I need to get better at taking pictures before new meals (ie. the really delicious carnitas with guac and tomato salad that I made for the first time the other night).

Anyway, here are a few meals we’ve eaten in the last month:

Slow-cooked lamb shanks over cauliflower rice

Leek and green pepper frittata with tomato and parsley topping,
Ribeye steak with hothouse tomato

Pumpkin custard with homemade baked sugar pumpkin

Quest for coffee

The Triangle area is a cool place to own a business, especially independent coffee shops. Raleigh has Jubala & Helios, Chapel Hill has 3Cups, but I was kind of sad that I couldn’t find a nice spot in Durham. I’ve heard of a few places, but either their hours were terrible, or their coffee was terrible. Both no good. I’ve gone to Joe Van Gogh a few times now and am pretty pleased. Good espresso, friendly baristas, cool little spot in town. I spent part of my morning reading there today.

From the bottom of my coffee cup

I’m standing at my computer in our apartment. There’s a mug of coffee to the left of me, on a piece of paper. Every morning, it goes something like this: Empty tea pot. Fill with clean water. Put on stove. Turn knob to HIGH. Empty out french press. Pour coffee beans in grinder. Grind beans. Look inside. Grind beans down further. Pour ground coffee into french press. Hear tea pot whistle. Turn off stove top. Pour hot water into press. Grab a spoon & swirl coffee around. Throw spoon in sink. Walk away for a while. Come back to french press. Look around for spoon. Realize spoon is in sink. Open drawer and grab another spoon. Stir coffee. Press coffee down. Pour into mug. Pour in almond milk. One dash cinnamon. A few drops vanilla extract. A teaspoon of honey. Stir with yet another spoon.

Every morning, that is what goes into making my cup (or three cups) of coffee. I can do all of these tasks while I’m still half asleep. When you break it down though, it seems like such a complex task. It’s amazing how something as small and trivial as making a cup of coffee really is something that is intricate and requires so many steps. We take it for granted, all of these little things in our lives: Waking up. Putting on clothes. Buying groceries. Working out. Cooking and eating. Washing clothes. Walking. Getting into a car. Taking money out of the bank.

It hit me today. It hit me how these trivial things that we consider so… miniscule, so unimportant… some people cannot or will not ever do these things. Some are too poor to know what coffee tastes like, or what having money in the bank feels like. Some will never be able to use their legs to run on a treadmill or, even to walk from the bedroom to the kitchen. Alex and I joked that the people we met in Asheville, NC were all adult babies, but what about the real adult babies? What about those that need help to do even small tasks? What if the steps required to make my cup of coffee were downright impossible for them?

It humbled me today, to think of how fortunate I am. How incredible rich I am. How incredibly healthy I am. I woke up this morning, kissed my husband goodbye, ate breakfast, worked out, showered, washed the floor, cooked, and am now sitting at my laptop, drinking coffee. When in my life am I ever going to get this opportunity again? Who else could not work for a month and still be living off reserves and living on their feet? Who else could spend the day cooking, grocery shopping, and reading in a coffee shop? I often am afraid or complain that I am jobless, that I am directionless. However, I need to make sure that I am constantly seeing how incredibly Blessed I am that I am okay in this situation- I’m not starving, I’m not terminally ill, I’m not alone. And every day, I see this.

In the same way, I don’t want to take advantage of my current position. I know how good I have it, and want to work hard for these things that I receive that I don’t deserve. I want to work hard and make a name for myself. I want to receive a paycheck again. I want to learn and contribute to society and make my husband & family proud. And all the more, bring God glory in all I do. I realize that grumbling and being self-centered isn’t doing that (I’ve started nearly every sentence in this paragraph with the subject “I”).

I’ll continue to meditate on these things and realize to not boast or crumble in my position, but use it to better myself and others. To make the most of every situation, and never take anything for granted.

And now, back to my cup of coffee that is ‘half-full’.

Brief recap

So I’ve been hesitant to update my blog because I’ve fallen so very behind. To recap the last month into a tiny nutshell:

• I graduated with a BS in Biology
• I finished up my time at Tropical Smoothie after nearly 5 years
• I packed everything that was necessary and important to me into my Hyundai Sonata
• I married my best friend
• We honeymooned in NYC, Asheville, and Charleston
• We both got incredibly sick with upper respiratory infections and took care of each other
• We moved into our new apartment in Durham

So here I am- 21, graduated, married, away from my family, friends, and only home that I’ve ever known. But I need to tell you, there’s something very refreshing and freeing thinking about that. My life has completely changed, and it’s very exciting. While I am still jobless and lacking direction, every day offers a new and exciting challenge. I’ve been cooking quite a bit, visiting Ashley for coffee, and trying to start up a little project to feed Alex’s classmates. Have an interview tomorrow so we’ll see how that goes. Here are a few photos from the honeymoon

It’s August 2nd,

2011.

This blog needs a major life update

soon

 

 

it’s just

 
You're kinda closed-mouthed,
aren't you?

I'm sorry.

It's just, you know,
my life isn't that interesting.

I go to work, I come home.

Don't know what to say.

You should read my journal.

I mean, it's just... blank.

Really?
Does that make you
sad or anxious?

I mean, I'm always anxious,
thinking I'm not living
my life to the fullest,

taking advantage
of every possibility,

making sure
I'm not wasting one second
of the little time I have.

I think about that.
Yeah?

You're really nice.